A loyal reader got in touch with me today and said, "I can't believe you haven't talked about Britney yet!" I would like to say, "Oh I am so over that hot mess bitch" but indeed I checked out the video clip first thing Monday morning. The thing is, what can I possible say that hasn't been said already?
Michael K of DListed: I could have dressed a sack of potatoes up in a sequined bikini and turned a tired track on and have gotten a better performance and better lip-synching skills. REFUND!
TMZ Britney Spears aimed to bring the house down when she opened the MTV Video Music Awards, but instead she just looked like a house. A little too early for the skimpy outfits, perhaps?(Ouch!~G.)
A.P.: Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.
Was she pissed because she knew from rehearsal what Sara Silverman's monologue was going to say? Granted it was a little harsh...
“Wasn't that incredible? Britney Spears, everyone. Wow. She is amazing. She is 25-years-old and she’s already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life.
“Have you seen Britney’s kids? Oh my god, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see!” “They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of.”
But that excuse don't fly, because Silverman's Rep says no one had heard Sarah's material before hand. "”When she rehearse she even said, ‘Joke. Joke. Joke. 50 Cent. Britney Spears. Etc.’
I agree with Kanye, MTV exploited her ass (literally!) for ratings. They knew people would tune in to see a train wreck and they were right.
Then there is Boot Gate. I don't buy it either. If you watch the performance, she wasn't even mailing it in, this was like a pack mule up Mt. Everest. She has this vacant drugged up look in her eyes that is scary really. IMHO, she was boozing it up pre-performance, and then a handler gave her a Xanax or something.
The bigger tragedy in my opinion, was Paris Hilton's hair:She's saving a spot at the table for Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia.
Oh, and KFed threw the kids a huge birthday party while all this went down. How sad that he's looking like the better parent?