Tuesday, February 07, 2006

"As long as I'm living my baby you'll be"

That's such a wonderful book. My mother sent it to me, (twice actually because she forgot she had the first time) when I was expecting my first.

Biggest One just *had* to begin making my life difficult before he was even born. ;-)
Placenta previa sidelined me on complete bedrest at 30 weeks, which put me laying on the couch over Christmas and New Year's. I have to say that was one of the best New Year's Eves ever. Shell came over, we had Chinese take-out, and TNT or TBS had a sing-along movie marathon. We watched "Grease" and "West Side Story" complete with words and a bouncing ball to follow on screen. For my shower, family and friends paraded into my house much to my surprise one Saturday afternoon. I was so clueless! My sister and Jobee came up for the weekend, and Jobee spent the morning cleaning my house, and I was like, "Why are you doing that? You're visiting," and she said, "Oh I'm just helping, you are laid up..." My hubby was like, "Why don't you put on one of your nice maternity outfits instead of those ratty sweat pants since A and Jo are here." (God knows I'd take nine weeks of bedrest right now! LOL)

He had to be born by a scheduled C-section. It was a waiting game with a fine line, because my OB wanted to make sure his lungs were fully developed but wanted to have the surgery before I went into active labor, which would have increased my risk of badly bleeding. I had to have an amniocentesis to make sure he was ready.

No matter how much you read, how much your mom says, what your friends tell you, nothing prepares you for having a baby. Seriously. I got off to a bad start nursing because he has to spend the night in the neonatal ICU because of residual fluid in his lungs. He got a little jaundiced but I stuck with it. I bawled my eyes out when they took him to be circumcized just thinking of him crying. But I loved looking at him, loved holding him. It broke my heart to go back to work, as much as I liked working.

I remember learning to see the world on a different scale again as he grew to be a toddler. I'll never forget one of the first communication "breakthroughs" we had. He wanted something, or was telling me something. He had a word for it, one I wasn't understanding: "bachi". Finally he ran into the livingroom and grabbed his blankey---a white woven cotton receiving blanket he had adopted as his "lovey" months earlier. I swear it was like the "wa-wa" scene out of "The Miracle Worker" LOL, him holding up the blankey, and me saying "bachi?" and him saying "bachi!" and we both laughed. The remarkable part of the story is that he would always hold up his blankey and kiss it and ask you to kiss it when he'd wake up and you'd go get him from his crib. In Italian, "bacci" means kiss.

He would line up his blocks across the living room and get upset if you distubed them. He's incredibly smart, and his love of reading makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He's a very sensitive and artistic boy; he makes jewelry, writes stories, and loves stuffed animals. Sometimes I worry about him being labeled as different as he advances in school, and end up being teased or bullied because of this, because I'm a parent and that's what parents do; we worry and want to protect. I shouldn't though, because he has always had a knack for being congenial and making lots of friends. When he was younger, all the kids in the grade school seemed to know him, and I used to joke about him being mayor of in second grade. He certainly doesn't lack athletic prowess as is evident with snowboarding and his gymnastic skills.

As my baby turns 11, I know now that one of the hardest things is having to keep letting that tether out further, and watch them go. I am so glad I made sure that he had a wide berth from the start. I know it has helped his confidence and achievements, and tempers the pangs of sadness I may feel as I watch him go.

Happy birthday to my honey bunny.


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brings a tear to my eye. We have the best kids.

MyUtopia said...

Happy Birthday!

Jamie: said...

I have always felt a kindred spirit in Biggest One, myself. Is there a rule about playing favorites among someone else's kids? *wink*

(Kidding, I adore all of your children.)

Giovanna said...

I'll have to have him make you an earring for your nose now. :p

Bee said...

Feliz Cumpleanos Ian! =D

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't trade motherhood for ANYthing...NO money could by this kind of happieness. I loved reading your story if your son. Thanks for sharing. I always say, motherhood is the most rewarding, yet toughest "job" I have ever done.

pgh

Jobee said...

I remember the shower well - I believe you were one of the first to pop one out. Well since you won't be needing to throw me a shower anytime soon, I expect you to come over and tidy up my house on your next visit.

Congrats for birthing all those babies

MK said...

Hope he had a memorable blast of a bday.
I seem to have never read the kid book you mentioned. We got attached to the nut brown hares in Guess How Much I love You.
When our little guy says I love you mama more than the stars and moon in the sky it just KILLS ME.

Brain Diva said...

Awww, that is so nice to read such fuzzy memories. I can't wait to have kids. Happy belated Birthday, big one. He's such a sweetie pie, your boy.

As an aside, I LOVE "Love You Forever". Robert Munsch's books are great but this one particularly stands out. Seeing as my mom was a kindergarten teacher for many years, she always in the know when it came to children's literature. We read a lot of his books. Plus, he lives in Canada so he was well-known here earlier than in the US. I remember reading "The Boy in The Drawer" a lot as a kid partly because I was weirded out by it. Anyway, he has a great website: http://www.robertmunsch.com/

krysten said...

that book makes me bawl. the first time i read it was during a time when i was going through a LOT of trouble having a baby. i read it again after finally having a viable pregnancy and it made me cry worse. and after having my son, it means that much more.

amnios...doncha just LOVE those? i had to have three...but it was supposed to just be one...the dr had to redo it three times. AWFUL.

circumcision - glad to know i wasnt the only mom out there who cried that hard about it. the nurse came in and asked what was wrong and when i told her, she actually asked me if it would make me feel better to go WATCH! are you freakin out of your ever-lovin' chicken?!?!? how the HELL that was supposed to make me feel better, i just dont know. idiot!

it's good to know they actually live beyond the flu they get at 2. ;-)