I feel so good right now, I can't even begin to describe it. But I'm going to try anyway because what's the point of having a blog then? LOL
You see, I began the day a little down. I've been thinking a lot lately about that "inner voice" - the one we are supposed to be listening to. Whether you want to think of it as your soul, or "Self" or even your conscience, it should be a guiding force. I think mine's been a little obfuscated - either conscious or unconsciously, by too many other voices: The voices of my parents, voices of other mothers, the voice of a spouse... or the voice of a mentor that was more than likely a little too ardent with overblown praise for my writing. That combined with the propensity for self-doubt made me wonder why the hell I was writing? Who was I writing for? Me? Or someone else? Was I doing it because my inner voice wanted to write, or because I was so flattered by the stroking of my ego?
Tonight I was dreading my last workshop because I had turned in this emotional piece that in retrospect thought was a stupid piece of crap. (emotional gastritis!) Much to my surprise I received a lot of positive feedback on it. The obvious flaws, the stuff I knew the story was lacking were certainly pointed out and focused on, but I had so many compliments on my prose, scenes, dialog... more importantly, without even knowing me, without even a word from me, without any prompting whatsoever, these people said that the internal struggle of my protagonist would make a compelling story. That once I expand and flesh out the characters and give more information, that it would be great.
I have pages and pages of scenes and dialog and ideas that fall into these lines. I feel so energized to know I can make it work.
I believe in myself. I can write. And I am writing for me.