Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Feelin' hot, hot hot

I water my garden in a bikini.

Because I can. ;-p

It's on a day like this that I feel more like Nicolette Sheridan's character on "Desperate Housewives," shamelessly taking pride in flaunting my body. As I stand there, holding the hose and spraying water on my vegetables, I suddenly think of that Carls Jr. commercial with Paris Hilton and get naughty ideas that might serve me well for a piece of fiction someday. (Jesus that was a long sentence.)

This licentiousness lasts only until the man comes to mow the lawn, and I remember my children are 50 feet away in the pool. This brings me to Multitasking Domestic Goddess Style tip number 2: while watering garden, wear bikini to tan back and supervise kids swimming in pool all at same time. (For those of you who missed tip #1, it was fold laundry while waiting for self-tanning cream to dry.)

My legs hurt. Whine whine whine… FYI, I didn't just sit by the pool all day, as nice as that would have been. The kids are eating right now, so I am taking ten to sit and rest my weary legs and back. It's times like this I miss smoking. I would slip onto the porch, pour a little wine, and grab a cigarette. So, I am sitting on my porch anyway, escaping the sound of Nickelodeon for a little bit before I have to clean up that mess and start prepping whatever the man and I are eating later. Family meal time? What's that?

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