and this could be mine. *g*
I'm going to be a bit candid here so if it's TMI for those of you, I apologize. You're all people I am comfortable enough to say things like this in front of. I have no trouble with an e-mail that says, "Hey G, I really don't need to know that, alright?" Or, don't read. LOL
If the events of our childhood are at the root of all that ails us emotionally, where is my need for positive reinforcement from? Why did I grow up never wanting to let anyone down- even further; equating disappointment and anger with withdrawal of affection? To the point of developing anxiety over it? Was I over-praised as a child? Was there pressure, however subtle, for me to succeed? Furthermore what have I done to my own kids because of my own failings?
This is where therapy is for the birds, because counselors are so quick to lead you down the path of self-discovery, yet none of them have any answers for you on how to fix it. So because I now know the reasons behind my behaviors I am supposed to now be able to change them? I suppose to some point I have… but Zoloft aside there is no "magic bullet" to make people whole-healthy-productive citizens. I'll take conventional medicine any day. End rant.
I'm just having one of those days where I feel like I can't do anything right, and will never overcome my mistakes. Maybe I'm just ovulating. Pass the Prozac.